Don't Leave Me With My Thoughts
by SetoJouFan
Summary: It's in Jou's POV and he's depressed, his father abuses him, he's verbally abused by Kaiba. What happens if someone pushes him over the edge? Will he commit suicide? abuse, fluffy, shounen-ai, SetoJou


**Disclaimer: Don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. T-T**

**Warnings: mental/emotion and physical abuse, swearing, suicidal thoughts.**

**This will all be in Jou's POV**

I had just gotten done shopping and was about to check out when I ran into someone. "I'm so sor-" I started to say but stopped myself when I noticed who I had bumped into. Seto freaking Kaiba.

"Watch where you're going mutt," he snapped at me. Rolling my eyes I tried to ignore him but then he had to say, "Oh wait, we're talking about you. You're to clueless to pay attention."

"Shut the fuck up!" I shouted at him. People around us stared as I shouted that. Timidly the girl behind the counter asked, "Can I help the person next in line?" You could tell she was frightened as Kaiba made his way over and set down some items. Curiosity filled me as to why he would be at Hot Topic when he could just order anything specially made online. As much as I wanted to ask I also wanted to avoid him and get done with everything. Looking at his purchases I noticed they were some shirts but they looked to be too small for him.

"Who are those for?" I asked curiously.

"None of your business," he replied coldly. Glaring at him I was about to shout when the girl asked for the next person in line. Setting down my clothes I waited for her to ring it up.

"That will be $42.78," the girl informed me. Reaching into my pocket I took out my wallet and apparently I miscounted my money. I was about ten cents short and couldn't find a single dime in my pockets.

"I'm so sorry I can't find a dime! Just put back the bracelet," I told her while sighing.

"Oh don't worry about it," the girl said grabbing a dime from her pocket and paying the rest.

"Thank you so much!" I told her smiling brightly. She smiled right back and handed me my clothes and accessories. I made my way out of the Hot Topic. Too bad I forgot that Kaiba was there because he just had to taunt me.

"See what happens when you go off into your own mind, you fall short," he told me smugly. I wanted to hit him so bad. My grip on the bag tightened as I walked away fuming. That stupid damn hot bastard! I'll admit he's hot but I HATE him! He can go rot in the fiery depths of hell and burn for all I care! Growling under my breath I made my way home. Before I reached home I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself down. Putting my ear to the door I listened for any movement or yelling. Hearing nothing of the sort I gently reached for the door and tried to quietly open it. The door creaked open causing me to cringe at the sound. Looking around I waited for my father to yell but when no response came I let out a sigh of relief. Heading toward my room I checked the other rooms to find my dad gone. Quickly I went toward my room where I made sure to place my clothes under a loose floorboard that I had discovered.

I was thankful my dad wasn't home because it made hiding these easier. To say my dad was a good dad was far from true. In my mind he was Satan reincarnated. A familiar sound of stumbling footsteps reached my ears as I quickly replaced the floorboard. "**GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE BOY**!" the monster screamed. Reluctantly I stepped out of my room so my '_punishment_' wouldn't be worse. He glared at me pining me where I stood. "Didn't I tell you to bring me more beer? And what happened to the electric bill?" he asked in a chilling voice. Inwardly I shuddered trying not to show my fear.

"They don't give beer to minors…" I told him avoiding his eyes as my voice grew quiet. He grabbed my throat and backed me into the nearest wall slamming me into it.

"**SO WHAT?! AND WHAT ABOUT THE ELECTRICITY?!**" He screamed at me. I couldn't talk for awhile as the pressure on my neck prevented me from breathing let alone talking.

"I lost my job…" I replied avoiding his eyes.

"**YOU WHAT?!"** he screamed at me. I flinched as his hand tightened on my throat.

"..I..lo…st…my..j..ob…" I choked out. He let go and stared at me. I tried not to fidget or move under his unrelenting stare. Finally he kicked my ribs near my solar plexus and slammed me back into the wall. I coughed violently and a little bit of blood escaped my mouth. Either I bit my tongue or he damaged something internally. I couldn't tell since I hurt all over and the pain was hard to pinpoint. The monster then kneed me in the chest causing more blood to escape from my mouth. Now I was starting to think he damaged something internally. Pulling his arm back he punched me in the gut. I groaned in pain causing him to smirk sadistically.

"You better find a way to pay for the bills or it'll get worse," he threatened me. That was the last thing I remembered before pain erupted through my skull and darkness overwhelmed me and I lost consciousness. When I woke up it was dark out and I was disoriented. Standing up slowly my vision blurred and I had to lean against the nearest wall for support. My body was drained of energy and I felt weak and hollow. As my vision started to slowly come back to me I staggered to the bathroom. Looking into the dingy cracked mirror I checked my wounds to see if I could cover them up with just my school uniform.

There was a bruise on my neck which I could probably hide behind my shirt collar. Most of the damage was to my torso which I would definitely be able to hide I noticed as I pulled off my shirt. Sticking my tongue out I noticed there was blood so I rinsed out my mouth and spit it out. Checking again there wasn't any cuts or damage to my tongue meaning I had internal damage. A detached feeling settled over me. The pain was still present but it felt far off like a dream. Getting out of my pants and tossing them next to my shirt I stepped into the shower.

Dark thoughts entered my mind as I wondered if I could drown in the cold water that poured down my skin. My mind was becoming exhausted with everything. Not only did I have to deal with my father's beatings on a regular basis, and school but my friends were starting to notice something up and Kaiba was putting me down more so than usual. Turning off the water I grabbed a dingy towel that was the cleanest I could get until I did laundry in a couple days. Pulling my school uniform on I was out the door without breakfast again and no plan for lunch.

You would think that when I was with my friends I would feel as happy as I look. Really I just feel like I don't fit in…Sighing mentally I laughed at one of Honda's jokes while he patted one of my bruises. HARD. Luckily I didn't cringe as he continued patting my back then give me a noogie. I was in a relative content mood though since no one noticed my injuries if they showed and were busy with other things. As much as that comforted me it hurt at the same time…

Lunch time was a blessing as my friends gave me some of their food when I told them I forgot my lunch money at home. Happily eating my meal I didn't notice when Kaiba came up behind me. "So the mutt's eating his friends' scraps," he remarked coldly.

"I ain't no mutt, bastard," I growled back. Suddenly he pushed me onto the ground causing me to yelp as my tail bone hit the hard floor.

"You look and sound like one to me," he stated smirking superiorly. The whole cafeteria burst into laughter at what Kaiba had done and to add insult to injury they started throwing random insults at me **and** food. Slowly standing up I exited the cafeteria ignoring everyone even my friends who were calling my name. My destination was the roof. Once I reached the roof I sat down and started to stare at the sky. My mind wandered to what everyone thought of me. No one believed I could make it in life, that I was an idiot, thrashy street thug, and hopeless cause besides my friends. Even then I lie to my friends constantly. At moments like this death looked very appealing. It's not like I would live much longer anyways…who cares if I just speed it up a little.

Action set in mind I look around for anything useful. Seeing a rusted nail just lying on the ground I picked it up and examined it. Poking my finger with it I determined it was sharp enough to cut skin. I placed it against my wrist. Funny. Most people would be more hesitant about this me I know how I'm going to do this. Running the nail down my vein I trace a path down my arm vertically. Everyone goes horizontally because subconsciously they want to live and it gives them a longer period of time before they pass out from blood loss. Staring at my wrist I'm about to start on the other not even noticing that the door to the roof had opened two minutes ago or that footsteps were coming my way.

"**WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!"** a familiar voice shouted. Blurrily I looked toward the voice to notice it was Kaiba. Ignoring him completely I stare at my wrists as blood flows freely down my arms. I faintly hear a ripping sound and a noise of someone on their phone as I start to pass out from blood loss. Ah…Sweet darkness welcomes me.

Sadly I find myself waking up in pain in an unfamiliar setting who knows how much later. Looking around I can see a lot of blue but my vision is still blurry from the blood loss. A figure is by my bed but I can't make out who exactly so I squint. I find my self shocked to see Kaiba by my bed staring at me. "Wh-" I start to ask but he cuts me off.

"You're at my house in one of my guest rooms," Kaiba answers. That explains that. "Now tell me why did you feel the need to try to kill yourself? Was it because of this afternoon?" he asks looking calm but his eyes show intensity I've never seen before.

"I just didn't really feel like going on daily like this…" I replied in a numb sort of voice. A silence envelopes us. I can't say it's calm, or awkward…just different…

"I know everything," he calmly states. That confuses me.

"What?" I question.

"Everything. Your parent's divorce, sister being taken from you, the gang life, you beatings…" he listed everything about my life. I couldn't help but stare.

"Then why help me now? You should have left me be like you've done before," I told him. Roughly Kaiba pulls my arm forward.

"Because I can't ignore this," he states. I want to ask why can't he until I'm pulled forward. He kisses me roughly and passionately. Not really knowing what else to do I respond back. He pulls away first and leans his forehead against mine. "I'm not going to say some bullshit like I love you and only you…but I am attracted to you…When I saw you on the roof…I panicked. You looked so calm as you cut up your wrists and I almost feared I'd lost you before I had you…." He rambled. I put a kiss to his lips to shut him up.

"But I'm here now…so what do you plan to do?" I asked. Kaiba…no…Seto smirks at me.

"This," he replies pulling me into another kiss.

**OWARII!**

**I hope you enjoyed this story! Please R&R!**


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